[If I can’t find the cure, I’ll fix you with my love
And if you say you’re okay, I’m gonna heal you anyway
Promise I’ll always be there, Promise I’ll be the cure -Lady Gaga]
“It wasn’t the right time. Soon, my love. I promise,” Navid said as he hung up with his parents. I’d perched on a high stool at the kitchen bar watching him the whole time. I don’t know Persian, but I understood the happy banter as he paced back and forth looking for an opener. But there had been no tension in their words, no revelation. He hadn’t told them. This had been going on for a few weeks. He kept trying to find the right time.
“You really don’t have to do it. You don’t have to tell them about us, it’s ok. What if they hate us? What if they never want to accept me? What if they blame me for it like I brainwashed you? What if I ruin your family for you and they never want to talk to you again?” I felt my leg shaking as I spoke.
“Baby love,” Navid said and looked at me with sad eyes. He came towards me and wrapped his arms around my chest to pull me into him. “This is not your doing, my sweet one. You are the most important person in my life and it is time that they knew this,” he assured. He buried his nose into my shoulder and kissed my chest as he leaned over me.
“I hate this, Navee. I wish things could be easier. It’s so awkward to talk to your dad as if everything is fine. He helped me review for my final last night and then I listened to him talk about the new research he’s doing.” I sighed.
I’d spent a lot of time this semester getting help from his dad over the facechat on the computer. Mr. Naseri opened up to me about a lot of things. His children were growing up and losing touch with him, no longer needing his help or advice. We talked about anything and everything. He said he liked practicing his English with me, but in reality his was better than Navid’s. He’d spent most of his teen years outside of London and held degrees from British schools. Like his son, he was brilliant, analytical, handsome, and charming.
But now with the impending revelation hanging over things, our chats were a little more awkward. He’d noticed. He asked what was worrying me. I could talk to him about anything, but never that. The true nature of my relationship with Navid wasn’t mine to disclose. I pretended to be having an argument with Erik about stuff. He’d told me to forgive him, to always be the one to make peace. He said life was shorter than we realize and best friends are life’s true gold.
“I know, Noah. I know… It will be done soon. I can’t have you worry for this. My father can never be angry with you no matter what. Believe to me when I say this, Noah. My parents will blame me. I am the one who takes your innocence. They know you are too sweet to be the guilt in this. If they become upset, it will direct it for me,” Navid assured and kissed my forehead.
“I took yours too,” I said and pushed my lips against his neck. He just laughed. He’d never accept that. His parents only saw me as the naive innocent because that’s how Navid portrayed me. I really did feel like his child sometimes.
“It is done,” Navid said when he got home from work the next day. I’d made dinner for us since he had been stuck in traffic. I guess he had called them on the way home as he inched along.
“What? What happened? What did they say? Tell me everything!” I demanded and jumped off the couch where I’d been napping in a pair of shorts and tank top. It was warming up to summer in the San Fernando Valley. We’d had more hot days than cool. I hate this transition, but it meant the semester was nearly over.
“Is very confusing. I don’t think they believe me. There were no tears or yells. It was like I tell a joke that is not funny and everyone just sit quietly.” Navid said with a sigh. He set down his work bag and hung his jacket over a dining table chair. He loosened his tie and unbuttoned the first few on his white dress shirt. His toned brown chest sprinkled with black hair came into view. I got weak, needing to touch him, but this wasn’t the moment for that.
“What did you tell them?” I asked as I paced around him like a shark. I knew he wouldn’t say that he was gay. He didn’t consider himself gay. To his culture, homosexuality meant much more than just two men who loved each other. It was considered a disorder, something that needed to be dealt with strongly. There were many layers of cultural and religious pressure on him, layers I hadn’t grown up with and didn’t understand fully.
On top of that, in Navid’s native culture, to be homosexual meant that you were the man who received the other man inside you, the bottom. The one who “seeded” was just doing what men do in their eyes; getting as much action as possible. This went way beyond the idea of two souls in love who happened to be male.
As much as Navid had adapted to my culture and knew that those stereotypes didn’t exist here, it was bayrampaşa escort still hard for him to consider himself “gay.” I was slowly making progress with him, but we still had a long ways to go. It seemed odd to have to “come-out” in a gay relationship.
Navid had come a long way, but he still had to deal with a deeply traditional culture that held a huge stick of shame over his head.
“I tell them truth, princess. I say that I feel for you like I would feel my wife. I say I want to marry with you and is legal in this country. I tell them you feel same for me, we want to spend our life with together and raise a family. I tell them I love you more than any, that you are my heart.” Navid said. His eyes looked a little red, but I knew he would hold back the tears.
“Well that is… um… pretty clear I guess? And they didn’t understand it?” I asked. I pushed into his arms as he fished his wallet and keys out of his pocket and tossed them into the bowl on the coffee table. He took off his tie and slipped it around my neck. He liked seeing me in his things.
“I guess it is not so clear. They say it is very nice to have someone to care for and love. They say they know you are very good boy for me and I take care of you as my own child… then they change topic. My mother then says about a girl she met who will be perfect for me and want to study here in America. Is like they don’t hear what I say at all!” Navid stripped off his shirt and set it on the chair. He stepped out of his black leather shoes.
“So… wow… I… What does that mean? Do they do that sometimes?” I asked and put my hand on his chest. He leaned down and kissed my cheek and shook his head.
“If only I know what they think. I do not know this, my love. All I know if they know now. We will move ahead with our plans. You will be mine. I will be yours. They will know this,” Navid sighed.
“Will we invite them? Do you think they will come?” I asked, still not getting it.
“I do not know, my love. Please. I tell you what I know. I have headache and heartache. I need my boy,” Navid said and pushed back my hair. He leaned down and kissed me.
“Ok… sorry. I just… I’m supposed to study with your dad tonight. He is helping me review. Should I still call him? Will he even answer me?” I prodded more.
“Of course, my heart. He love to work with you on the study. He even says this when I talk to them today. He says you make so much progress and he is happy to see you grow. You are our little flower and we all want you to blossom,” Navid put his hand on my back.
“I don’t know how to act now. I never dealt with a parent not approving. My dad came out for me. He just knew. He’s always been there no matter what I had to tell him. What do I say to him when we talk?” I asked. I reached for his belt and unhooked the clasp. His fingers met mine and he closed my hands in his palms. He brought our hands up to his chest and he looked down at me.
“You be yourself. You are perfect as you are. I did not do this so you will hide. If I even think he will be unkind to you I will not let you call him. You are most important soul in my life. Your heart is my treasure. Let him bring thing up if he wants, ok? Don’t talk about sex or anything for dirty,” Navid said as if I would bring up lewd conversation with his father. We laughed together at that.
“Um yeah. Like I normally say things like that to your dad! ‘Hey Mr. Naseri, your son fucked me so hard this morning that I’m kinda sore so that’s why I squirm when I sit.’ For reals!” I laughed. Navid let go of my hand and undid his pants.
“I know, my princess. You are a good boy. You would never think of doing that. You are clean and pure. You just be yourself with him. My father love you so much. I can tell in his voice he already knows how I feel for you. He seem like he want to say more but can not in front of my mother. I don’t know for sure. They just act like I am telling them unimportant news like they do not believe this is accurate.” Navid stepped out of his pants and hung them on the chair.
He stood in front of me in gray, sheer dress socks that went almost up to his knees and a pair of white mesh briefs that showed his brown skin and dark cock. He looked like one of those guys from a weird fetish video. He collected his clothes and took them upstairs. I grabbed his shoes and followed him, watching his muscled ass bounce on the stairs.
“It’s going to so be awkward talking to him. I’m nervous, Navee… He’s supposed to help me with my final review tonight. Seriously… What if he yells at me?” I asked again nervously.
“He will never yell at you. This you may not believe, but this matter is between me and my parents. My father may think I influence you for evil. Maybe he try to rescue you,” Navid laughed. He peeled off his socks and laid down on the bed to check his phone. I crawled up the bed to snuggle into his chest. He held me against his heartbeat and beykoz escort stroked me as I played with his left nipple.
“Did you sell enough lamps today?” I asked as I reached down to stroke his bulge. Back before I understood what he did for work, I would joke that he sold magic lamps because his business logo had this spotlight on the name. I later thought that maybe that seemed racist since he’s middle eastern but he always laughs. He puts my hand on his cock and tells me if I rub it he’ll grant any wish I have.
“I actually closed on three properties! I make a nice bonus for my boy to enjoy!” Navid beamed proudly. “That deserves a kiss for my genie!” He put his hand on my head and pushed me down to suck his cock.
“I hope I get my wish,” I said and opened wide to give him what he needed.
After dinner I had the appointment with his dad online. I had a final coming up and he was going to help me review. I couldn’t eat much at dinner. My stomach felt all fluttery but Navid insisted that I needed the help and his father enjoyed teaching me.
“Hi… Mr. Naseri! How’s it going?” I asked and felt the shaking in my voice. He had on reading glasses and looked adorable. Navid definitely had a hunky future to look forward to.
“Noah! I am good! It is always a happy time when I get to talk with you. We have much to review today. Are you prepared? Did you read the study notes from your professor? They looked very straightforward to me. I think you will do well but we must get to work.” He was all business tonight.
“Yes… sir… I have them here. I did. I read them.” I fumbled with my papers.
“Good, Good. How is my son treating you? He has been too busy with work. I told him to make more time for you. You need a good father.” Mr. Naseri stared me down with the same intense eyes his son used to melt my willpower. Those eyes always made me feel so blessed to bask in his spotlight
“Great yeah he’s um. Great. He is a good… man. Let’s get going on the review?” I asked.
“Good. Eager boy!” Mr. Naseri started to plow through the material but every ten minutes or so we got distracted talking about other things. I heard about some new restaurant that opened in his neighborhood and he asked how the wildfire season was looking in California. We talked about politics though I hadn’t really kept up with things.
We never got to the topic of my engagement to Navid though. I kept wanting to ask him, affirm to him that I wanted to be his son’s partner for the rest of my life. I wanted to tell him how nice it would be if they came for the wedding. I wanted to talk about where we might have it and how many people we would invite.
I wanted to tell him our idea for serving Iranian and Californian food. I wanted to tell him that we both like blue for the wedding theme colors, but that I prefer midnight blue with silver accents while Navid wanted light blue and gold. There was so much I wanted to say about it, and I wanted him to hear it… to be excited… to be there. We didn’t even have a date set, but every time I pictured it I knew I wanted Navid’s parents there.
But we didn’t. We talked about stupid things like restaurants, wildfires, and the president. It felt like a let down, a waste of our time together. I wanted him to be happy for us or angry for us or even yell at me; something to pop the zit of secrecy. We finished our review though and he smiled and told me how proud he was of everything I’d learned this semester. He said I would do well and to just keep reading over things.
He said he loved me, couldn’t wait to see me again, and hoped his lazy son was treating me like I deserved. I told him I loved him too and echoed his sentiments. I told him I hoped Navid would grow to be just like him when he was older.
“You complete your studies?” Navid asked when I closed the computer and went to brush my teeth. He was lying on our bed in a small pair of shorts and checking emails. The shorts were loose and had pushed up his thigh enough to where I could see his thick cock sleeping lazily against the comforter.
“Uh huh,” I nodded as I stared at his club. He followed my gaze and then laughed, but didn’t bother adjusting himself. It was just us.
“Everything is ok with my dad?” Navid asked. He reached for his cock and gave it a rub to show me what I was missing in my time away from our bed.
“He’s ok. He helped me a lot, but… It’s so awkward. He acted like nothing weird happened! I kept wanting to talk about it,” I told him. I went to the bedside and Navid pulled me down next to him. He put his computer to the side and pulled me in under his arm.
“I know, princess. Someday. Just give them time. Let them process this thing. My father take his time and my mother does too. She will bring it to his attention when she is ready. He will wait for her signal. They will talk it over. Give them time,” Navid assured and kissed my hair.
“Are you sure you beylikdüzü escort told them? He really acted like everything was normal.” I rubbed his chest.
“I did, my love. Is like I tell you. They will discuss with me before they do with you. He will think this is only me. He think you are too innocent to understand what happens here. For sure he is upset with me for doing this to you,” Navid explained as he rubbed my back.
“How can they think that? I’m the one from the permissive culture, evil California,” I laughed.
“They see these innocent eyes that make me melt. They know your heart is good. They know you are not wayward boy from bad home as I told them long ago. They figure out quickly that it was my cover story and now they know why I lied to them,” Navid said though I wasn’t sure what kind of explanation that was. I was too tired to go on though.
“Is surprise, Noah! I can no tell you and then is not surprise if I do, yes?” Navid said as he got on the freeway. I didn’t have any classes on Friday and I’d studied all I could for my finals. I was burned out and anxious from the situation with his father. I still wasn’t sure where we stood.
“As long as it’s out of the valley! Oh my god look at your dash! A hundred and six outside!” I pointed at the little digital thermometer on his speed gauge as he zoomed down the 101 (One-oh-one). The city was melting around us and fires were burning in the hills east of LA.
“You will see. We need a day to relax and just be us. No family, no studies, just a little business, but it will be fun for my boy,” Navid said as he squeezed my knee. He’d told me to put on my blue swimsuit with little white anchors and a white tank top with flip flops. He had on a small pair of green shorts and a red tank top. We must have been heading to the beach.
I watched the thermometer change as we went up and through the Sepulveda pass. On the downside where the 405 (four-oh-five) winds through the hills and opens up to see the endless concrete of Los Angeles, the thermometer started to drop from 106 to 101, 99 then an abrupt drop to 90 passing Sunset. In a span of ten minutes it dropped a full 30 degrees from 106 to 76. LA’s microclimates are brutal. You get to the coast and it’s half the heat but twice the housing price.
“I love you here with me. I can use carpool lane,” Navid said as we whizzed by the stalled traffic. He’d packed a bag for us and we’d put cold bottles of water and the beer he liked in a cooler.
“Wait! We can’t be going to the beach. You brought beer,” I noted. Glass bottles were against the law, not that Navid paid attention to that. Persians are rule breakers.
“We will have to see, princess,” Navid said. He got a business call then so I went quiet while he talked about some warehouse on some street I’d never heard of. I watched the city roll by as we made our way down into the South Bay and then past the Goodyear Blimp in Carson.
We finally got off the freeway and followed a wide boulevard down to the marina area. We went through a park and then over a little bridge spanning a canal lined with nice houses.
“Where are we?” I asked when Navid pulled up in front of a house. He wedged his car into a tiny spot and then turned the car off.
“You do not remember this? We come here on one of our first dates. You forget my love gesture! Remember the boat? The fireworks? The necklace I give you?” he asked with astonishment. I remembered back to that day when we crammed onto a small boat with his friends and went out in the harbor to eat dinner and watch fireworks.
“Long Beach! Yep. I remember now. You played with me on your lap and everyone watched,” I laughed and thought back to that day.
“Well yes, but more important it was just down this street. A client has house here for his vacation while I find him places to buy. He invites us to come for barbecue. I think is good for you get out of heat and take happy day with me,” Navid said and reached for our bag and the small cooler in the backseat. He got out and came around to open my door. I stepped out onto the curb and followed him up to a beautiful blue beach house.
“Navid!” An older white guy in good shape with greying brown hair said when he opened the door. “Oh and this must be your boy. Oh he is just what I pictured you’d have.” He smiled and offered me his hand. I shook it and Navid made our greetings and I found out the man’s name was Joseph. The man waved us inside and I saw Karim and Mike behind him with drinks in their hands as pop music played through the house.
“Boys are here!” Karim said and came to lift me up into a hug. It had been a while since I’d seen him. He was keeping up his workouts and easily held me in a hug.
“And this is my boyfriend Luis,” The man said with a hint of a New York accent. He was introducing him to Navid, but I got a look at him after hugging Mike.
Luis looked model perfect; thin but toned with a handsome face. He could have been hispanic, maybe mixed with asian as well. He was early 20’s with a flop of black hair on top of his head with the sides shaved down. He had perfect sun-kissed skin and large green eyes with long lashes. He wasn’t just beautiful, he was striking; that look you just can’t turn away from.