Desire was all the rage, at least to those within the same community. They were a local band and virtually unknown outside of the small town of Amber Heights. Four members made up the band, all young men between 18 and 24 years old and each and every one of them was smoking hot. Rick Myeres was key board, Mikey Doogan was guitar and backing vocals, Tracy ‘Trash’ Albrum was the drummer and lead Vocals was a youngster named Avery Duprey. Avery came up with the name Desire; it fit them well and was a way of life as well as a band name. No one put more heart and emotion into a performance then these young men, and it defiantly paid off every time they played a gig. Avery wasn’t an original member of the band. The original lead singer was Mikey Doogan’s older brother Dale; he had a raspy sort of voice that matched his unkempt and slightly deranged appearance. He was a heavy drug user and he could drink anyone under the table and usually showed up to practice shit faced and ill tempered, if he even showed up at all. When he started missing gigs, they knew that it was time to look elsewhere.
Mikey was torn between wanting to do what was best for the band but at the same time wanting to stay on good terms with his brother. In the end he knew that Dale was holding them back and besides that the other band members hated him. He was a jerk and wasn’t afraid to let everyone know it.
Mikey was known to hang out at a local bar called “The blue room”. He was sulking one night, drinking himself sick and about fifteen minutes away from winding up passed out on the floor, when he caught site of a good looking kid stepping up to the karaoke microphone. A soft, mellow song started playing over the speakers, a song that Mikey recognized as, “My sweet surrender” by Asendin, an underground band that had in recent weeks begun to appear more and more in the spot light.
Mikey listened to the new comer singing, with apparent fascination. His voice was sweeter than an angel’s voice. He watched him move and sway to the words he sang. The kid had medium length black hair that hung in the front of his face nearly concealing almond eyes that were traced with a black eye pencil. His skin was as pale as death against the blackness of his hair. There was a hint of purple eye shadow and somewhat of a touch of purple upon his full, voluptuous lips. His finger nails were painted black and his attire was defiantly somewhat Goth. “God he is beautiful.” Mikey whispered to himself. And that’s when it hit him, he knew that he had found there new lead singer, the dark angel that had vocalized sex and made Mikey feel desires that he never thought he had. When Avery suggested the name, everyone agreed that it fit and Desire was born.
Trash was six foot two, broad shouldered and about 175 pounds. He had waist length dirty blond hair, straight as a stick and usually pulled back neatly and bound with a black rubber band. He had a hint of a beard, blond also and so light in color that it barely showed against his pale skin. His eyes were pale blue but no one really knew that because you rarely saw him without his gold rimmed shades, with blood red lenses. He had gone by the name Trash since anyone could remember. It was a testament to the types of women he dated. If anyone ever dare refer to him as Tracy, they usually lost a few teeth.
Rick was the pretty boy of the band. He was renowned for his ability to create magic with the keyboard. As a teenager he played piano beautifully. Musical masterpieces poured from the instrument as he sat day after day at excruciatingly long practices. Bach, Beethoven and Mozart haunted his dreams at night. His parents were insistent that he would one day be a famous concert Pianist. Rick had resigned himself to the fate that his parents had decided on, but his destiny lay elsewhere, unknown to him at the time. When he lost his parents in fatal car crash his world was turned upside down. Suddenly he had no future, no desire to play and no hope to become anything more than a shadow of the boy he had once been. That was when he met Mikey and all that changed, he had found a purpose again. He had found a family. Mikey accepted the soft spoken young man into his world and made a different kind of musician out of him, different yes…but still great. His fame would one day come in a different manner but it didn’t matter, Rick was happy again.
Mikey put the band together. He was always a leader and being the oldest member in the band, that suited everyone else just fine. He wasn’t the wild and untamed rock and roll super star that Trash was, and he wasn’t the dreamy eyed classical musician that Rick was either. He wasn’t dark and Gothic as Avery was, drowning in his own despair and misery. Mikey was something of a mystery. He was quiet most of the time but when he did speak people listened because he meant what he said. He was a watcher. He sat and he watched people, silently and he saw things in people that others could not see. He was also a lover and a very passionate one. Anyone that got the privilege of being in his bed was left with bahis firmaları a longing for more but that need was left unfulfilled because Mikey was a one shot deal and he rarely gave encores.
It was the Friday before another gig at the blue room. The band was tuned, practiced and ready to roll but the mood of the members was suddenly cast into a thick gloom of anger and desperation as Trash threw himself down on the old, worn and dirty brown sofa in the basement of Mikey’s parent’s house.
“This is all bull shit!” Trash exclaimed. “I got some fucking great ideas for songs we could be playing, shit that would really rock the hell outta the place ya know, but Mikey’s little pet only wants to sing fucking ‘Asendin’ songs and you fucking know that Avery gets what Avery wants!” He lit up a smoke and puffed away on it while Rick walked around the key board he was packing up and joined Trash on the sofa.
“Yeah, your songs are great,” Rick said, “I do really like them, you’re a wonderful writer and a terrific drummer but we have really been pulling in the fans since we started playing ‘Asendin’s’ shit and you have to admit, Avery sounds awesome singing their songs. Hell, he practically sounds like Brian Mueller himself! I think Mikey knows what’s best for the band and once we get the crowds that were hoping for; we can start playing some originals. Avery’s written a few poems that Mikey thinks would be awesome songs if Avery would let us use them.”
Trash rolled his eyes, “Avery’s shits all about death and suicide and crap like that. We need some cool songs about fuck’in and drink’in.”
Rick shrugged, he had said his peace and there was no use continuing the conversation when Trash was in such a foul mood. Besides, it was then that Mikey suddenly appeared, standing in the doorway, silent as usual and blending into the shadows of the room. Rick didn’t know how long Mikey had been there and Mikey gave no indication that he had over heard any of the conversation. He walked into the room and over to a black arm chair where he plopped himself down with a sigh. His black eyes stared, daze like out the window. He never even looked up when Avery entered the room.
Trash and Rick had noticed the tension between Avery and Mikey the last few weeks, there seemed to be a wedge shoved between the two when they had before been pretty much inseparable.
Avery glanced over at Mikey, his eyes betraying his desire for Mikey to show one hint of recognition but when he failed to return Avery’s stare, the younger boy looked away, dejected and almost hurt.
He was dressed as usual in his black and dark attire. Skin tight leather pants clung to his thighs as though they had been painted on. Mikey had remarked once that he really liked to see Avery in those pants because they amplified his bulge. If Mikey was aware that Avery wore them today, he gave no sign of it. A long sleeved top covered Avery’s chest though it was too tight and bit too short, exposing his navel ring and the lavender orchids that he had tattooed around his belly button.
Avery walked over to the sofa and sat on the other side of Trash, beside Rick and as far from Mikey as he could. He pulled one leg up onto the sofa, pressing his leg against his chest as he wrapped his arms around it and rested his chin on his knee.
Rick looked at Avery, the dour look on his face still so evident, he glanced over to Mikey and then back to Avery again. “What’s going on with you two?” He asked softly.
“Nothing.” Avery answered him, the sad look on his face as present as ever.
Rick shook his head as he slumped back into the cushions of the sofa, he wasn’t buying it for one minute, but he wasn’t one to pry. If Avery wanted to talk however, Rick would always lend an ear but it wasn’t his place to push the matter and he defiantly didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.
“Fucking Christ!” Trash suddenly screamed across the room, having just about enough of Avery and Mikey’s disdain towards each other. “How many people are you going to push away just because you can’t keep your dick in your pants Mike?”
Mikey glared at Trash angrily, “That’ll do Tracy.” He hissed and Trash shut up, he knew better than the push too many of Mikey’s buttons. He was the type to hide the bodies in the back yard.
Avery stood and glared at Mikey, “Fuck this shit.” He whispered darkly. Avery turned on his heels and left the room. Mikey slouched farther down into his seat and let his head roll back into the cushions. It was too late to be dealing with a scorned lover and he frankly just didn’t have the energy anymore, Avery would have to wait until tomorrow though Mikey knew that by then the chances of fixing this broken relationship with slim to none.
Everything was set up, the night club was packed. There were twice as many people there tonight then there had been in weeks. Avery was a little nervous about singing in front of so many people but also a little exhilarated, this is the kind of exposure that they had been hoping for, for a very long time. kaçak iddaa Avery sat down on the edge of an end table that was part of the meager furnishings of the small room back stage. He took a long drag off the black clove cigarette that he had been smoking and then exhaled the smoke slowly letting the aroma overwhelm him. It was the same brand of cigarettes that Brian Mueller, the lead singer of Asendin, smoked.
Avery looked up at the poster of Asendin that he had hung on the wall the first night he had sang for ‘Desire’. There was Brian, looking down at him with that sultry, sexy gaze that made Avery think very naughty thoughts. “You alone.” Avery said softly, speaking to the poster on the wall. “You alone know what I am going through, what I am feeling. You’re the only one that I can talk to.” He looked down at the ground and sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. He was so small, so vulnerable and suddenly he felt more alone then he ever had before. He felt exposed, easy prey for whatever beast might be lurking in the darkness. It was a scary feeling for him, not to belong to someone. Not to be a part of someone, if he wasn’t someone’s ‘better half’ then he was just a half. Half a man, that’s what he felt like now, half a man and utterly alone in a big, dark and dangerous world and his knight in shining armor was ‘rescuing’ someone else now.
The sound of the door creaking slowly open made Avery jump; He turned and saw Mikey standing in the doorway, dressed for the night’s performance in what he called his ‘rocker’ clothes. Avery knew that he was going to miss those nights when he would eagerly strip those off of Mikey’s sexy body. He would miss the feel of his hands stroking Mikey’s flesh.
“Thought I might find you back here.” Mikey said as he looked Avery over. “Talking to your poster again?” Avery thought he detected a hint of jealousy in Mikey’s voice. It made him grin slightly but that grin faded when he remembered how he felt, walking into Mikey’s bedroom and finding him with his face pressed between some nameless little cunts legs, his tongue three inches deep into her pussy while she moaned and whimpered on the bed. The thought of it still tormented Avery, every time he looked at Mikey, he saw him with that bitch. It wasn’t so much the fact that he had been fucking someone else but more of the fact that he had been fucking a chick. It was a slap in the face to Avery because he knew that Mikey desired something that Avery could never be.
Mikey reached a hand out to touch Avery’s hair but Avery slapped his hand away. “Don’t.” Avery sneered.
“How is this going to affect the band?” Mikey asked, though his voice barely rose above a whisper.
“It won’t.” Avery told him. “I can separate my personal life from my career.”
“Can you?” Mikey raised an eye brow. “Isn’t that what led us to where we are now?”
“It was a mistake that I don’t plan on making again.”
“A mistake.” Mikey repeated the words softly, a bit saddened by the statement. “Is that really what you think we had was, a mistake?”
“Do you think it was anything else?” Avery asked, narrowing his eyes as he stared at Mikey.
“I thought…that what we had was beautiful.” Mikey said slowly. “It was probably the happiest time of my life.”
“But it wasn’t enough for you.” Avery said. It was more of a statement then a question.
“I will regret what I did for the rest of my life Avery, but I can’t change it. It happened. There’s no going back.”
Avery nodded, “Your right Mikey, there is no going back. Not now, not ever. Now if you’ll excuse me…” He brushed past Mikey and headed towards the door. “They’re waiting for us on stage.”
Mikey started to say something else but Avery moved past him too quickly. Mikey followed the younger boy onto the stage but he said nothing further to him, not then and not the rest of the night. They had a job to do, a performance that over a hundred people were waiting on but when the gig was done, Mikey knew that he would be sleeping alone.
The loud commotion that once filled the room suddenly died down to a hypnotic silence as Avery took the stage. He walked up to the microphone and placed his hands around it and pulled it close to him as though it were an extension of his very being. He closed his eyes as the lights dimmed and he leaned his head in so that a lock of shiny black hair brushed across his violet shaded eyes and shadowed a portion of his face. The crowd was held in thick anticipation, spell bound as they waited for his lips to part and that heavenly voice to fill the room. The music began to play, a single cord from the keyboard, then a guitar that sang high above the notes of the previous melody. Avery rocked back and forth with the music, he let it take him over, become a part of him and when he finally felt the music flowing through his body, he opened his mouth and began to sing.
His voice sounded out through the room and the audience began to sway and move with the singer, he captivated them with his kaçak bahis voice and with the passion that he put into the song. It was the first song that Mikey had ever heard him sing, “My sweet Surrender.” By Asendin. It was Avery’s favorite song and one that he preformed particularly well. “Take me high…”He sang, “High into that vast nothing…take me to my sweet surrender…”
Mikey watched the crowd gathered below them, some of the girls down there actually had tears in their eyes. He knew that they would practically do anything at this point to gain some attention from Avery, their angel singer. How lucky he was and he didn’t even care. Avery could have had just about any girl in that entire club that night but it didn’t matter to him, he wasn’t interested, they weren’t his type.
Damn, Mikey wished that he could have been so popular when he was that young, fresh out of high school and determined to be a rising star. He didn’t have what Avery did and he doubted that his band now would be as popular as it was if it weren’t for Avery, but none of that really mattered. He didn’t care about the popularity anymore, and he didn’t care about the scores of half nude girls that threw themselves at him or the others. He discovered, maybe too late, that Avery was all he wanted. What a fool he felt now, that he let him down so horribly and lost the one person that he could have truly and honestly loved.
“My Sweet Surrender” faded away and another song took its place, the beat was a bit faster and a little more fun. Dancing broke out at once and the still, quiet atmosphere disappeared into the loud fun sounds of the party that it was meant to be. People were drinking, laughing, dancing and having such a good time that it went completely unnoticed if someone left or entered the bar. No one cared; it was a night for hell raise’n so it came as no surprise that the three strangers who entered the bar were almost completely ignored by the partiers. The bar tender gave a suspicious glance as he served them a few beers. “Hey, you look kinda familiar.” He said as he put the drinks onto three coasters that he had laid before them.
“You think so?” One of the three men asked, a thick Irish brogue sounding out over the commotion.
“Yeah, you definitely look familiar but I can’t place it, you’re not from around these parts though are you?”
The Irishmen shook his head. “What can you tell me about this band playing here tonight?”
“Local boys.” The tender told him. “Lead singer is nineteen, names Avery Duprey. He’s pretty popular with the ladies I hear but I think he’s got a thing going with his guitarist.” He nodded his head in the direction of the stage to where Mikey was playing the shit out of his guitar. “That one’s not right there though. Avery would do best to stay away from him, at least in the romantic sense.”
“You got a liking for this boy?” The Irishman asked the tender.
The tender grinned and shook his head as he showed a gold ring on his left hand. “I don’t roll that way. Got me a sweet lil girl waiting at home, all tucked under the covers and pretty as can be.”
The Irishman nodded, “Lucky man.” He turned his attention back to the band and kind of rocked along with the beat of the music. The next song that started was another one by the band ‘Asendin’. It wasn’t quite as mellow as the first song of the evening but it still had the slow dark quality that the band was known for. Avery did another phenomenal performance almost mastering the voice and style of Brian Mueller. He imagined Brian on stage with him, singing beside him, dancing with him. That would be a dream come true for Avery but he knew the chances of meeting his idol was almost non-existent but still, when he was on stage, singing Brian’s songs, he felt that much closer to him.
The Irishman looked to his two companions and nodded to the stage. “What do you think?”
The other two men shrugged, “They’re pretty good.”
“What about the Lead guy?”
The blonde on the left laughed, “I think he is lip-synken.”
“Naw…” The Irishman shook his head, “He ain’t Lip-Synken, that’s real. He sounds pretty damn close too.”
“Maybe.” The blonde said again, “But it’s really no matter. Why don’t we head back to the hotel now, its getten late and we have a long flight ahead of us in the morning.”
“You lads go.” The Irishman told his friends, “There’s something I wanna do first.”
The other two shook their heads as they gathered themselves up to go. The Irishman waved them on as they exited the club, then he turned his attention back to the local band that was playing so beautifully on stage. He couldn’t take his eyes off the lead singer, the one the tender had called ‘Avery’. There was just something about him that had captivated the Irishman. He knew he wasn’t going to get that boy out of him, not for anything and that really bothered him because it would be another three months before he would be back this way again. He couldn’t wait that long, not with this strange infatuation that he was feeling of a sudden. He had to meet the boy tonight, talk to him, and discover what this hold was that the boy had over him. The Irishman sat back, relaxed himself and ordered another drink. He stayed until the very last song.