Note: So, we’re all a bit more secluded lately given the global situation. Seemed reasonable to maybe crank out a few stories to lighten the burden. I’ll probably do more standalones than chaptered bits. And maybe just for a brief while. But, quarantine gives you time to fantasize I suppose. Two things, everyone is of course over 18 and also I will try to keep an eye on things but if I want to do these faster that might mean a few editorial goofs. Enjoy but wash your hands — more than usual.
“Yeah, I just have to finish this. I’m on deadline.”
“I get it, but I just need to know — coming tonight or not? If yes, great. If no, then I’m making other arrangements and the longer I hold off on that the less fair it is to anyone I might want to invite to join.”
“Yeah, I know. I… fine… can’t promise I’ll be done. Grab alternate arrangements. If I finish in time, I’ll just miss the show with a minimum of grousing about it.”
“Good going, sweetie. That was almost mature. Now get back to work.”
We’d been married for a few years now. You’d think we were better at this. But, really, if you think about it, no one is. I’d known early on that Meg was better at her job than she was at seeing how long any particular task would take. She was quick to take on jobs and good at following through. She was less good at seeing that she couldn’t do absolutely everything she wanted to sign up for. When that meant that she couldn’t do the “fun” stuff it annoyed her because it didn’t seem, somehow, fair. So, she said yes to everything and resisted cancelling or rescheduling until the very last minute. She was late to everything and sometimes never showed. Our friends knew this and I had just budgeted it in ages ago. A commitment to do a thing like go to a show was always an intention. But don’t tell her that. Meg will take your head off if you imply that she will run out of time for all her commitments. That’s just insulting somehow. So, we do this dance. I pretend she’s going to do all the things she’s agreed to, and she cancels at the last minute while feeling very aggrieved.
In recent months, I’ve started taking a new approach. No one gets upset, but keep the pretense to a minimum. I figure if I give her time to realize she’s not going to make it, but also cover the situation with alternate options then I get to do fun stuff and she gets to not feel guilty because I’m obviously not upset.
I mean, sure, it would be nice if we did all the social stuff together, but it’s also true that my honey is a big fan of productive work. It’s far more satisfying to her to work until she’s exhausted than it is to go out if the work isn’t done yet. Yes, she’d like to go to the show, but not as much as she’d like to get this project off her plate.
“Call Dar first, though. She’ll want to see it and you haven’t taken her out in a while.”
“My mother is a grown up, but sure. She is always up for theater.”
I walked over to the kitchen nook where my phone was charging and rang Darlene. I know, I know, but she’s my mother — she still answers phone calls. She doesn’t always respond to a text, but she will pick up if I call. A regular barbarian.
“Darling,” she answered on the second ring. “You never write, you never call.”
“Except, of course, now,” I reminded her.
“And the day before yesterday,” I pointed out.
“That hardly counts.”
“And there was the texting this morning,” I mentioned.
“Well, that’s not really calling… but fine… I kid a bit and you pull out the accounting. We raised you to be annoying apparently. I blame your father.”
“That’s about right. I’m sure he was the one who leaned into the sarcasm. It couldn’t possibly be my angelic mother.”
“Seems right,” she unironically agreed.
“Look, Meg and I have tickets to that new thing at the Fox, but she’s on deadline and can’t make it. We thought maybe-“
“Yes! What time? Do I have time to get ready? I really want to see the show. Did you read the review in the Current? It looks fantastic and so avant garde and I didn’t get tickets before it sold out and-“
“Hey, hold up there, Tex. I’m glad you’re excited. I don’t know much about it, but Meg seemed to think it would be fun. So, it’s tonight, but not until 8. So, you’ve got plenty of time. How about I pick you up at 7. Traffic will determine if we have time to grab a drink before, but we’ll be there in plenty of time.”
“Oh, this is so great. 7PM don’t be late. You’ve got your key so come on in. I will be working like hell to make myself presentable. It might go down to the wire.”
“No need to fish Darlene, you’re a handsome woman,” I poked at her.
“Bastard. Now I’ll really have to work at it. Handsome? I totally blame your dearly departed bastard of a father.”
“Again… seems, fair. See you at 7.”
I ended the call and told Meg the news.
“She seemed really into the idea,” I said. “I didn’t read the reviews but she seemed to think it was cool.”
“I knew she would,” bedava bahis Meg replied without looking up from her laptop. She and my mom were close. I think they would have still been big friends if I weren’t around. I don’t know if that’s comforting or disturbing. She added, “It’s a sort of post-modern Drama-Dance reinvention of classic theater… whatever that means. Mostly, I think folks are excited about it because it’s sort of edgy and has adult themes.”
“Nah, more classic theater stuff. Dance but fewer songs. Oh, who knows, really? You’ll have to tell me.”
“Will do. I’m going to hit the shower. I should probably not smell bad for my date with The Other Woman,” I joked.
“Yeah, you might get lucky so wash your balls dude,” she grinned but kept right on typing. Meg can have a bit of a twist to her sense of humor.
Get lucky. Right. I mean, hopefully afterwards when I get home. That would be nice. But, Meg had been working on this project for days. I couldn’t swear that SHE’d showered in the last 72 hours. Still, maybe I could lather her up and repair the damage. That would be fun.
When you’ve been married for a bit sex tends to slow down. Sometimes showering too. Probably in direct correlation. But, you know, we were in a good place. There were weeks when we were just bunnies. Others where one or the other of us were busy. Those weeks were less good kind of sweaty and more sweatpants sweaty. All good and all in love, but comfortable. Sure things were slower now, but doesn’t that happen to all married couples?
I stripped off my clothes and headed into the shower. Meg and I weren’t overly modest around one another. We’d noticed that some of our friends really were. There were folks in our friend group that I was fairly sure only had a theoretical understanding of their partner’s naked body. They could imagine it but didn’t really have a first-hand account so to speak. Bobby had let on that Joanie insisted on lights out for any sort of sexy time. She didn’t even let him in the bathroom when she was showering. The irony was, of course, that Joanie was hands down the most physically fit of all of us. She lived in athleisure wear and worked out like a maniac. But, that must have sprung from something deeply insecure. Whereas, our friend Chris was just Naked Guy at all of our college parties. Like, at some point someone always said, “Whose that Naked Guy?” We just rotely responded, “That’s Chris, he’s harmless, introduce yourself.”
One Halloween it wasn’t Chris but Derrick. Derrick didn’t get invited back. Not because he was naked. He was just so Derrick.
Besides, Meg and I had even done a nude beach a time or two. It was kind of fun. Not as sexy as you might think, but fun. I’m no Adonis, but I figure I know who I’m going home with and she likes me pretty well. No need to get hung up on body image stuff.
Once I’d scrubbed all the important bits and shut the water off I realized that I’d been joined in the bathroom. Meg had apparently stopped in for a quick pee.
“Hey,” I said rather uninspirationally.
“I’d whistle but I don’t want you to get a big head,” she said with her trousers around her ankles. As one does.
“Well, you never know. I can get a big head over a lot of things.”
“True. So, at least let me know what it’s for… C’mere.”
I chuckled and walked toward her drying as I shuffled.
“Well, I want to give you a reason to come home to me and not run off with The Other Woman,” she grinned.
Meg reached out and latched onto my balls. I mean, not too firmly. Just a bit of a surprise.
“Hey, there… I thought-“
“Yeah, I’m busy. I’m just taking a pee break and I thought I’d get you all spiced up for your super sexytime date. Think of me as the theater fluffer.”
“Look, you don’t-“
She had drawn me in close and just ran her tongue around the tip of my cock while cradling my balls. I had not expected that.
“Damn. That’s unexpected. And-“
I could hear that Meg had started to pee.
“apparently also multitasking.”
“Don’t make me dialog with you naked guy,” she said pulling back from me. “Or I’ll just go back to my original purpose.”
“No criticism. Just more of that.”
Meg did have amazing technique, I have to say. I mean, I’ve not had like a representative sample of all women or anything. I don’t get around that much. But, she was– ahem- hands down the most orally adept partner I’d ever been with. And in at least one other case that was a high bar. Still, she’s a treat. And very considerate. Because I had just written off sex until this project was done. Breaktime sex was plenty fine with me. Besides, this was kinda kinky sexy, which sure didn’t hurt. I grew into the experience and she took me in bits and pieces before swallowing me whole.
“Ummm, this is awesome, but, you know, we could move to the bedroom and- uhn- uh, give this a little more attention,” I ran my fingers through her hair and bedava bonus around the collar of her shirt, tugging lightly at her top. “Unless, you’d like to just continue what you’re doing in the shower?”
Meg sat back and grinned, “Oh, you’d like that wouldn’t you, you kinky little piss freak?”
“Yes, yes I would.”
She, apparently finished what she was here for, wiped and flushed and stood up. I moved in and kissed her. My cock slid between her thighs and I really thought I knew where this was going. Then I felt her hands on my chest pushing me back from her.
She dipped down and lifted up her bottoms, grinned at me and said, “Oh, no you don’t hot stuff. I’m going back to work. Deadline, remember? You’re going out with the Other Woman.”
She laughed and trotted out the door, “You are SOOOOO going to be thinking about me tonight. Get dressed or you’ll be late.”
I wasn’t late, but just barely. I parked, hopped out, and headed to the front door. I know, Mom had said to just come in, but I’m not a complete heathen. I knocked. Waited. Knocked again.
I mean, c’mon, we don’t have all night here. Besides she knows I’m coming. I waited a few more seconds, fished out my key, and knocked as I opened the door. I could hear the hair dryer going from the rear of the house. Well, of course. I’m already running just a tad late and my “date,” who assured me she would be ready was still drying her hair. Great.
I walked toward the master bath, and as I rounded the corner saying “Mom, we’re-,”
I found my mother, shutting off her hair dryer and letting out a mild shriek.
I jumped back and spun around, but I think I’d manage to shock both of us. Mom had certainly been drying her hair, but she’d also been bare assed — literally- naked. Not a stitch. Now, Darlene wasn’t super shy, and like I said I was a bit laid back in the prudery department, but I hadn’t seen Mom starkers since I was old enough to really notice, if you follow. She is a woman of a certain age, absolutely, but I have to admit… wow… she was still a beauty. A beauty who had been shocked to find a person in her house when she clearly wasn’t expecting it. While naked.
I walked back towards the kitchen wondering if I could just fade from existence altogether. Maybe blush right off into the infrared spectrum. And that’s when I heard the cackling. Just outright choked of breath laughter. Clearly, Darlene found this much funnier than I did. Okay, it was a little funny, but really… I mean… also a bit uncomfortable.
“Don’t choke or anything, Mom. Sorry about that. But, we’re late. And you did say to just use my key.”
As the laughter found a pause, she managed “Just a minute… you pervert.”
Fine. Fine. I’ll take it. Not that I deserve it, but I did want to hurry us along. And also to forget this ever happened.
There was rustling behind me, I still couldn’t bring myself to turn around and face that side of the house.
“You can turn around doofus, I need a hand.”
I turned around and dramatically held both hands over my eyes, slowly spreading my fingers to peek. She stood there in a sleeveless black dress. Lovely really. Clingy but not flaunting. Classic company party wear.
“Whew… I didn’t know you’d gone nudist, Mom. You could warn a fella,” I ribbed.
“Jackass. You could have knocked.”
“I did. Several times I might point out, but someone didn’t answer the door. I thought you might have died or something. Fallen and you can’t get up. Where’s the clapper?”
“Fine. Make fun of an old broad. You’re going to make me self-conscious. I thought I still looked pretty good in the buff, but clearly I am a decrepit old bat,” she fished.
“You know you’re not, you harlot.”
“Harlot? Is that any way to talk to your mother?”
“When I find her in the altogether flashing her tits at me, it seems appropriate… no?”
“Fine, but help out. Getting into this thing isn’t as easy as it once was.” She spun around and presented me with the zipper on the back of the dress. Sure, I can help out. No big thing. I’ve done it a million times. Well, a million times before I’d seen her naked. So, I might be a little clumsy, but hey at least she’d be facing away while I fumbled.
I stepped forward, as Darlene scooped her hair up over her head exposing the work area. I guess she was in a hurry. She didn’t even start the zipping to mid-back, that Meg usually does. I stepped close and the scent of her perfume hit me. Understated but nice. I looked down and grasped the zip. I pulled slightly away from her skin as I moved it upwards. You never want to snag someone. As I did, I was uncomfortably aware of the black lace panties she was wearing. And as I moved upwards the band of her bra. Also black. Maybe not a matched set, but certainly coordinated. The zipper stuck. Damn.
“Having trouble there junior, or just taking your time to stare at the goods some more?” She teased.
“Hey, none of this deneme bonusu is my fault, lady. It’s just a little stuck.” I worked it loose, but I admit I did take in the view with a certain amount of pleasure. Pleasure I should feel guilty about, I know, but still… she is a beautiful woman, and I’m not made of stone. As I reached the top and attached the final hook, I put my arms on her shoulders and leaned in to kiss her cheek from behind.
“Now, can we go? We’re going to be late,” I chided.
“Yeah, yeah. Just gotta get the shoes, my purse, and-“
“This lamp, the answering machine, a sculpture…”
“Set the house alarm,” she said as she left the room barefoot.
I went to the door and waited one hand on the knob. The doorknob. C’mon, I’m civilized. I heard the clip-clop of heels on the wood floor and then the digital tones of an alarm being keyed on.
As the warning tones started sounding, she rounded the corner and I opened the door to escort her out. I locked up behind us and followed her to the waiting car. I did get there just in time to open her door and help her in.
“Guess I didn’t totally fail at raising you,” she said.
“Well, mostly, but Meg reformed me. Besides she wanted to make sure I treated The Other Woman well.”
“The Other Woman is it? Well, if we’re going to cheat, let’s do it right. Off to the theater, my Lothario!”
“I did not expect… that,” I said a little confused. “Did you know?”
“Uh, well… I knew it was avant garde. I knew the choreography was being praised. I knew it was not for kids. No… didn’t really know… but wasn’t it awesome?!” Darlene sang out.
“Er. I — uh… they were naked. Like all of them. And ‘choreography’ is one thing… that was maybe organized, but it was also-“
“Well, I mean, yeah… but also dance. So, like public dancey sex. How bad can that be?”
“I mean, it was interesting, yeah. But, it’s not often that I take my Mom to a performance where the phrase “Make it rain” is appropriate.”
“Oh, nothing like that. They were already mostly naked. Nobody took anything off,” she smirked.
“And this is modern dance? I mean, I thought I was young and cool and everything, but I wasn’t ready for that.”
“Oh you say that, but I bet it’s just because you were with me. Embarrassed to be out with an old broad.”
“Bullshit, and you know it.” Eyeing her a bit more directly than I normally would. I suppose even though she was obviously looking for the correction, I was still feeling the effects of an evening when I saw my mother and an entire company of dancers naked. I mean, she’s not a dance company member, but Mom had definitely earned a place in my imagination that she might not want to think too hard about. Me either for that matter.
“Okay, so maybe you were upset to be seeing naked people while you were sitting next to a person you weren’t married to?”
“Well, I guess we’re dating,” I joked. “So shouldn’t be that bad. Besides, I’m not really a prude, but I just wasn’t expecting that. I wouldn’t have called if I’d known.”
“Then I’m glad you didn’t know. That was a fun show, unexpected but beautiful. And besides, I was out with a handsome man. That doesn’t happen very often.” She grinned and said, “and if we count earlier at least one of us got some version of lucky.”
“Not my fault,” I reminded her.
“Fault schmault — you were the one eyeballing my bits and bobs.”
“Hardly, you loose woman. I was above reproach,” I said as we found the car and buckled in.
“Fine. Hey, let’s stop at your place on the way home,” she said. “I want to show Meg the program and thank her for lending me her beau for the evening.”
“You sure? It’s late.” I admit I was considering the possibility that either Meg was still working and this would be an intrusion or that she was finished and this was getting in the way of the “to be continued” when I got out of the shower.
“Of course, I’m sure. I’m young, vital, and not at all an Old Broad,” she grinned. “Besides I had two glasses of wine at that little shindig, so I feel like dancing myself. I won’t mind you. You can relax. But, I do want to thank Meg for the ticket and tell her about the show.”
“Okay,” I conceded, “for a bit.”
When we arrived at the house, I could see that most of the lights were still on. I guessed that Meg was hard at work and I was going to get an earful as soon as I took Mom home. I unlocked the front door and escorted Darlene in. The stereo was going. Which wasn’t that unusual. Meg often worked to music. The choice was a little odd though.
There is a certain style of 80s soul that means Meg is ‘in the mood’ and that was what the nice folks at Bose were providing. Shutting the door behind me I heard a wolf whistle from Darlene. I spun around to see Meg, my darling wife, with a towel on her head strolling into the front room fresh from the shower. Of course, slightly damp and naked as the day she was born.
“Meggles, I didn’t know the show was going to extend to a home viewing but I’m so glad I got our boy to bring me by,” Mom laughed.
“Well, fuck Dar. I’d be embarrassed, but you did just spend 90 minutes with naked people so I hope I rate a good comparison.”