OK, we’re at the end, with epilogue, because I never want to leave people wondering what happens next. Don’t hate me too much for how Chapter 6 ended!!
I did something a little different with this chapter. It’s still Micah’s story but I added some sections from Jo’s point of view so you could see a little where Jo’s head is at. It’s a longer, emotional chapter, it was emotional for me to write it, so if you haven’t been crying yet, hold on. Thank you for going on this ride with me, Micah and Jo.
I’ve gotten so much love for this story it’s overwhelming, so thank you, truly! The link for the full playlist is at the end.
Chapter 7: If the World Was Ending You’d Come Over, Right?
Ivan opened the door with a smile. “Hey, baby.”
Micah resisted the urge to sneer at him and walked in. “Hey, Ivan.” Ivan closed the door and put his arm around Micah’s waist but he smoothly came out of his embrace. “Ivan, no. I have a boyfriend.”
Ivan scoffed. “Not for long.” He walked over to the couch and sat down, and opened his legs wide. He patted his thighs and said, “C’mere baby.”
Micah went over to him but sat on the coffee table in front of him. “Why are you doing this to me? To him?”
“Doing what?” He leaned in to kiss Micah but he moved his head back.
“I’m serious. You have to tell the truth and let this go.”
Ivan scoffed again. “I thought you came over here for some dick, not to talk.”
“I came for both,” Micah said convincingly.
Ivan smiled. “Now we’re talking.” He moved to kiss Micah again, but Micah again pulled back.
“No. I told you I have a boyfriend.”
“Yeah? Does your boyfriend know you’re here with me?” Micah did not answer. “That’s what I thought. Fuck now, talk later.” He moved to kiss Micah for a third time and Micah let their lips touch, but then quickly pulled away before Ivan could put his tongue in his mouth. He reached down between them and started unbuckling his belt.
“Yeah,” Ivan said happily and leaned back on the couch.
Micah slowly got on his knees and pulled Ivan’s cock out. He pulled the foreskin back and paused for a moment as the guilt washed over him for what he was about to do, but then exhaled and opened his mouth to engulf Ivan’s cock in it. Ivan let out a groan and held Micah’s head as he deep throated him repeatedly. Micah added the right amount of pressure that he liked, concentrating on the underside of his head.
Within minutes Ivan was trembling under him. He pleaded, “Wait, I’m going to cum…wait wait…uuuugh.”
Micah sped up and brought Ivan to ejaculation on purpose. He immediately closed his throat as his mouth filled up with salty cum, then pulled off him. He turned around and grabbed a used cup from the coffee table and spit out Ivan’s semen, then hawked spit again to ensure not one drop was swallowed. He turned to look at Ivan defiantly.
Ivan laughed. “Damn baby, it’s like that?” He stood up and stepped over Micah to go to the bathroom.
Micah eased back onto the coffee table, his hands shaking. He said quietly, “I’m so sorry, Joseph. I’m so sorry.” His eyes welled up with tears and he quickly wiped them away as Ivan came back out of the bathroom.
“Now, where were we?” He came to sit in front of Micah again and started pulling at his clothes.
“Ugh, stop,” Micah said, almost disgusted. He grabbed his wrist to stop him. “What are you doing, Ivan? Why are you acting like you want me all of sudden?”
“What do you mean, I’ve always wanted you.”
“Well that’s news to me. Because we weren’t dating, we were fucking. And you’re not out.”
“But so what? We were together, and then you just stopped talking to me. That fucking hurt.”
“Why did you do that to me last Saturday?” Micah asked.
“Do what?” Ivan asked. Micah did not answer, needing him to say it on his own. He gave him a look with his eyebrow raised. “What part? When I hit you or when I spit on your boyfriend?” he said smirking.
Bingo! Micah stayed calm and said, “Yes, all of it. Start with why you hit me.”
“I just told you. You ghosted me and hurt my feelings. You’re lucky your boyfriend did come along to defend you or I would have beat the shit out of you right then and there.”
Double Bingo. “You think that gave you the right to put your hands on me and try to physically harm me because I ghosted you? Are you really that obsessed with me?”
“If you’re looking for an apology you’re not going to get one,” Ivan said arrogantly.
“Is that why you spit on Joseph? To provoke him and make him angry enough to hit you?”
Ivan laughed. “I spit on him because he’s trash, but yeah, he hit me so now he’s fucked. The law is on my side.” Ivan laughed again.
“But you know Jo was only defending me because he saw you hit me, so why did you lie to the police?”
Ivan shrugged. “Fuck him. Once he’s out of the picture it won’t illegal bahis matter anymore.”
“You can’t do this, Ivan. You can’t ruin a man’s life just because you want me back. That’s insane.”
“I can. And I will.”
“So you’re just going to lie to the police, your lawyers, everyone and act like Jo violently attacked you for no reason?”
He shrugged. “If you come back to me I won’t.”
Micah scoffed. “You’re fucking nuts. I’m not going to come back to you.”
“Why not?” he whined.
Micah softened. “Because I love him, Ivan. I love him and I’m asking you, begging you not to do this. Please?”
Ivan’s face hardened. “Let’s see if that love lasts when he’s sitting in prison for attempted murder.”
Micah sighed, “Ivan-“
“No, fuck that. I’m going to make sure he suffers because he took you away from me.” Ivan stood up and towered over Micah. “I’m going to tell everyone that he called me a faggot while he hit me, making it hate crime. I’m going to do everything I possibly can to make sure he doesn’t see the light of day for a long time.”
“Even in a court of law? You’re going to commit perjury just to get me back?” Micah asked incredulously.
“Fuck the court of law!” Ivan yelled. “The court of law is going to be whatever I say it is. I even got Troy to back up my story, so he’s going to lie too. Your boyfriend isn’t going to stand a chance. And when it’s all said and done-” he stroked Micah’s cheek. “…you’ll find you’re way back to me. Mark my words.”
Micah had gotten all he needed. He gently took Ivan’s hands off his face and stood up. “Goodbye, Ivan.”
“Wait!” Ivan called. “I thought we were going to fuck?”
Micah ignored him, walked to the front door and let himself out. He walked off campus and a few blocks down before he reached into his pocket to pull out his phone to turn off the recorder. He played it back to make sure the whole conversation played clearly, then he copied it and uploaded it to the cloud, praying it was enough to make this nightmare end.
After I listened to the recording on the cloud again, I tossed and turned for the fifth time that night, then just laid there looking at the ceiling in the darkness. The sun will be up soon and that will make day three. I’m in a constant state of depression. I could blame it on what’s happening with Randy and that is part of it. They gave him two weeks tops, but Randy is a stubborn bastard. He’ll go when he’s good and ready, we all know this.
But I know the other part, the bigger part is that it’s been three days without my Angel. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, all I do is obsess over him. It’s like it was in the beginning when we first met. And once we got together I didn’t have to obsess anymore because he was mine. Mine to hold, to love, to care for. But he gave himself to someone else so he’s not mine anymore. And it’s killing me.
I don’t know what to do. Do I go against my principles and take him back? Does he even want me back after the things I said to him? Is it really over between us? I audibly groaned at my thoughts. I need my Angel. I want my Angel back. But how could I be with someone who cheated on me? What kind of man would I be if I went back to someone who thought so little of how I feel about him? I can’t do it. I won’t do it. I’d rather lay here with my heart breaking as every day passes without Micah’s body next to me.
Fuck it. I got out of bed and started getting dressed thinking, Might as well go see Randy at the hospital. I’ll focus on spending time with Randy for however long he has. I jumped in the car and drove over to Lancaster General and instead of fighting it, I let Micah consume my thoughts.
Micah consumed my thoughts day and night when we first met. I’ve never had someone give me butterflies before but Micah gave me butterflies right from the beginning. I came into that cafe that first morning and watched him watch me with his light brown eyes with the slight green center, hypnotizing me. I found myself walking toward him so when he tripped it took no time at all for me to get to him to help him up. The feel of him in my arms, the closeness of having his body against mine, his long, thick eyelashes blinking at me in shock and embarrassment, it stirred something deep inside of me.
I held him up that first day and the way he looked at me with those hazel-like eyes was pure adornment. I knew I was coming back to that cafe every single day before he invited me to stay. Seeing him almost every day of the week made me happy. And since he never missed a day of work, I woke up happy every morning just knowing I was going to see his smiling and gorgeous face.
That morning I ran into him on the street was pure luck. Or fate. He had no idea how sexy he looked, how hard he made me just sitting next to me in my car. I wanted to run my fingers through his curly hair so badly and kiss him. Then illegal bahis siteleri he reached over and held my hand, sending me into overdrive. My desire for him reached top level in that five minute ride, and it never left. It’s here even now.
Just the thought of his tight little body and round bottom had me growing as I drove to the hospital thinking of him. He was right, the sex is fucking amazing. It’s been four days since we last made love and I feel like I’m losing my mind. This is the problem, I lose all sense of myself when I’m not with him. And when I am with him I live to make him happy. To see that smile, to hear him laugh, to taste his skin and have him moan my name. My chest is tight, my dick is hard and I feel like I’m suffocating without him.
I was so afraid in the beginning, afraid of my feelings for him. The more I spent time with him and got to know him, stronger my feelings became, and it scared the shit out of me. Not just because he was a man, although that was a part of it. But because I’ve never felt that strongly about anyone ever before. I’ve fucked up every single relationship I’ve ever had because I didn’t really care about them, so I needed to slow everything down between us to be sure that I wouldn’t fuck up with him. And now I’ve gone and fucked up this one too. But this one hurts.
God, I miss him so much. He’s called me every day and I didn’t pick up his calls but I listened to all his messages. I’m not ready to talk to him just yet, because I honestly don’t know what to say. I’m angry but I’m lost without him. I need to get through Randy’s passing and then I’ll figure out my future with Micah, if there even is one.
God, the things I said to him… he’ll never forgive me. I’ll never forgive myself.
I parked and went upstairs to the 4th floor. It was still early and a nurse eyed me as I casually walked past her but she didn’t say anything. I expected Randy to be asleep but I opened the door to the two of them laughing, Randy was in the bed barely able to move and Jerry leaning onto the bed with his elbows saying something that made Randy laugh. I’m going to miss his laugh.
“Heeeey,” Randy called out softly as I came in.
I sat on the edge of the bed and said, “I thought you’d be sleeping.”
“Nah. I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” he joked. I just shook my head. “Why are you here so early?”
“I was just thinking of you. Wanted to spend some time with you.”
Randy gave me a skeptical look. “Don’t use me to take your mind off your problems. You called him yet?”
I sighed. “No.” Randy and Jerry exchanged looks. “It’s over, guys. Just let it go because I have.”
Jerry started laughing. “No you haven’t. You aren’t fooling anyone but yourself.”
I sighed again. “I didn’t come here to talk about Micah.”
“Well, I wanna talk about Micah,” Randy groaned as he tried to move his head and Jerry instinctively adjusted his bed so he could sit up and to make him comfortable. Then Jerry sat in the chair next to him and folded his ankle over the other knee. They looked at me and waited for me to get it all out.
“You already know how I feel,” I started. “He shouldn’t have done it. But the thing that bothers me more was how nonchalant he was about it. Like it was the most normal, natural, logical response to persuading Ivan to drop the charges. I’ll just suck his dick. What kind of shit is that?”
“He did it for you,” Randy said. “Because he loves you and wanted to make sure your life wasn’t ruined.”
“I didn’t need him to do that. There were other ways that he could have helped. He could have just talked to him without blowing him,” I said angrily.
“He helped the best way he knew how. And get mad all you want, but you’re here and not in jail right now,” said Jerry. “So maybe forgive him and let it go.”
I leaned across the bottom of Randy’s bed. “I just don’t understand how he could be so casual about it. Just giving what was mine to someone else. We’re so different. We see the world differently.”
Randy said, “Yes, you see it in black and white and he sees it in colors. Going through colorful things in your life does that to you.”
“Then we’re not compatible,” I told them definitively. “Because I need someone whose moral complex is closer to mine. He’s not my type.”
“No you don’t,” Jerry said. “You don’t need someone with the same moral complex. You need someone to challenge you, call you out on your shit and force you to see the gray when things aren’t just black and white. You’re struggling right now because you’re outside of your own comfort zone, forced to see the gray. Trust me, I know what that feels like.” He patted Randy’s thigh. “Also, he’s an entire human being, he’s not yours. He’s person, not an object for you to claim. He was a functioning adult before you came into his life.”
“And he’s exactly your type,” Randy chimed in. “He’s funny and loyal. And super fucking canlı bahis siteleri cute.”
They were annoying me so I just started throwing shit at them. “He’s always late and makes me wait and you know I hate to wait. He rarely takes things seriously. He is 25 years old with no aspirations and still trying to figure out his life and I’m already established. He argues about the dumbest shit. He’s too unconventional for me. He’s too young for me in general. All these things are incompatible with me.” Randy chuckled, annoying me more.
“So what you’re saying is, he’s his own person and you can’t control him,” Jerry deduced. “Good. You need a partner, not a lapdog that’s going to just do what you want when you want it.”
“He cheated on me,” I reminded them both.
“He saved you,” Randy said softly and nudged me with his toe. I know it hurt him just to do that. “He saved you because he loves you. He’ll do anything for you.”
“You really don’t see anything wrong with what he did?” I asked incredulously.
“Eh. Don’t ask me because I’m a morally questionable guy anyway. If it was me, I would suck anybody off to keep Jerry safe.” He shrugged. “Ask the less morally bankrupt guy over there.”
Jerry laughed. “It’s not that I don’t see anything wrong with it. I just understand why he did. So just talk to him and get him to understand how you feel about it, then come to an agreement about what is acceptable and not acceptable in your relationship. Also, if it was Randy, I’d suck a dick too.” He shrugged and Randy chuckled again.
“Why are the two of you rooting for this so badly? Because he’s the first guy I’ve really been with? Because there can be others,” I reminded them.
“But none like Mikey,” Randy said what I already knew. “Someone that will make you happy with his silliness and loved with how he treats you. That boy loves you so much but more importantly, you love him too.”
“I do love him. But what if love isn’t enough?”
“Shuuuudaaaap!” Randy mused. “Love is always enough.”
“No it’s not,” Jerry disagreed. “Love is the foundation, but you need trust, honesty and mutual respect. I’m not completely against how you feel about the situation. Randy has cheated on me more times than I can count, so I know it doesn’t feel great to know that the love of your life has shared himself with someone else.”
“Hey!” Randy quipped.
Jerry turned to him. “Are we still pretending like you haven’t been carpeing every diem that wanted to suck your dick?” Randy stayed quiet and so did I, knowing I had a hand in his wandering ways.
They locked eyes, then Jerry said, “It’s been years, I know. And yes, I forgive you. And yes, I love you.” He reached over and caressed his husband’s face. Then he turned back to me. “Love is amazing. But I know who I married. I didn’t need to change him, I just needed him to tone down his carefree behavior enough to respect our relationship.”
I told him, “Well I tried to get him to respect me but he doesn’t get it-“
They cut me off speaking at the same time with Jerry saying, “Respect the relationship.”
And Randy saying, “He’s not your fucking son, Jojo.”
I sighed. “That came out wrong.”
“No, that came out exactly how you wanted it to come out,” my cousin retorted. “You want to be the man in the relationship of two men. Cut that shit out. You want Micah to humble himself and respect you? Why don’t you try humbling yourself and give him some respect too?”
“I do respect him. I treat him like a man-“
“Oh, is that why he’s living in your house, driving your car and you constantly buy him expensive shit even though he told you to stop, then you had the nerve to throw all that in his face? How you took over his Christmas plans and his Valentine’s Day plans? Has Micah made any decisions in your entire relationship? Even the decision to actually get together was dictated by you. You think because he’s eight years younger than you that he has nothing to offer you, and that’s why you treat him like he’s a second class citizen in your conventional world.”
I stayed quiet as Randy continued to berate me. “You don’t know everything, Jojo. And there is a lot you could learn from him. Like how to relax, enjoy life and not to be a controlling asshole. Like how to listen to your partner instead of shutting him down.”
He’s wrong, I thought. I don’t treat Micah like a second class citizen. I don’t control everything. Do I? I clicked my tongue. “I don’t want to talk about this shit anymore.”
Jerry chuckled as Randy said, “Fine. Instead let’s talk about how I’m going to break out of this institution. Because there is no way I’m dying in this bed.”
Ugh, okay this is getting ridiculous. He’s not even picking up his phone and I don’t know where he is or if he is okay, although there is really only one place he would go. It’s been three days and I’m over waiting for him to get over what I did. I called Randy’s cell on my lunch break and left him a voice message letting him know that I know that Jo is hiding out there and he needs to call me so we can work this out. It’s not over between us. It can’t be over.